One way or the other
by Kelly93
Summary: Set at the end of season 3/ beginning of season 4  a summary would spoil it, so just read it ;


They were in the car; Ryan was driving, while Marissa was sitting next to him, looking dreamily out of the window into the darkening sky.

Ryan glanced over at her and couldn't help but admire her beautiful face, illuminated only by the now rapidly fading sunlight of the sinking sun.

Concentrating again on the road, he tried to grasp that she truly was leaving now. After they had gone through so much together, this was it.

He cleared his throat and said in a what he thought to be relaxed tone "So this is it, huh?"

"I guess it is…" Marissa said smiling at him. "You know, it's not like I'm gone forever. And by the way, they do have Internet in Hawaii"

"Yeah, but it's not the same, you know… you'll have this whole new life over there…"

Marissa sighed and turned her head back towards the window.

"Well, that's sort of the point, Ryan… I need this new start… after Volchok and everything…I'm not saying it's easy, but it's just … I _have_ to go." she replied, and even though she tried to hide it, he could see tears glistening in her eyes in the soft red light of the last sun rays. She quickly wiped them away and cleared her throat loudly.

Ryan felt anger starting to boil in the pit of his stomach and he had to pull himself together so she wouldn't notice. Volchok. This was his fault.

They continued driving in silence until the sun had sunk completely and the only thing cutting through the darkness were the car's headlights.

"We're nearly there", Ryan said after some time.

Marissa nodded, still not looking at him.

"It's just so difficult… I can't… do this" she whispered, shaking slightly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked worried.

She paused and sighed deeply, then opened her mouth again to continue, but decided against it, and started rummaging in her handbag instead.

"They must be here somewhere", she murmured to herself. "Ah, got them..."

Ryan turned to look what she was talking about.

"What were you looking –WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" He shouted incredulously.

"Taking a bunch of painkillers, why?" Marissa replied matter-of-factly, dreamily counting the pills on her hand. "Do you think ten are enough? Maybe I should take 20, just to make sure… Yes, that should do the trick…"

Ryan watched horrified and paralyzed as she pulled a bottle of water out of her bag and opened it.

"Stop it! STOP IT! ARE – YOU – INSANE?" he roared, as the shock wore off and the adrenaline started pumping through his body.

"I just can't do this… have to escape…" she continued to herself.

Ryan reached out for her hand and shoved the pills of it, making them fly in every direction and landing on the floor and in cracks of the car.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He continued shouting, but Marissa wasn't even listening to him anymore. She was staring out of her side window, a look of shock and fear edged into her face and when Ryan followed her stare, he immediately knew why.

Trey. Trey, driving the car next to them, with a bottle of beer in one hand. Trey, staring at Marissa in a disgusting and disturbing way. Trey, throwing the empty bottle aside. Trey, holding a gun.

"NO!" Ryan shouted, a mixture of fear and rage spreading through his body rapidly. Trey grinned at him and raised the gun, pointing it at Marissa.

Ryan hit the brakes hard and they fell behind Trey's car when a gunshot cut through the silence shortly followed by a crash.

He jammed down onto the gas pedal and they shot forward, away from Trey's car, which he had driven into a tree.

_What was going on? This couldn't be __real._

Ryan's hands were shaking terribly and he had to concentrate hard on staying on the road. He wanted to ask Marissa if she was alright, but he couldn't even put those few words together, so overwhelmed and horrified was he.

He was just calming down a bit and his head got a little clearer, when Marissa let out a high-pitched scream.

"Ryan, RYAN! IT'S HIM!"

_No_, Ryan thought, _No, it can't be him, not now…_

But sure enough, when he looked into the rear mirror, he saw Volchok's car coming closer.

Once again adrenaline rushed through his body and he sped up the car immensely.

Apparently so did Volchok, as he was coming closer and closer until suddenly he was next to them. Ryan slammed down onto the gas pedal, but it was no use, Volchok was just as fast._ No, this can't be happening_, Ryan thought frantically. _How_ _can this be? What's going on?_

And then everything went very quickly. Before he could even think about what to do next, Volchok repeatedly rammed their car sideways.

Ryan held onto the steering wheel and tried desperately to keep control over the car, but after a few crashes he lost it and the car drove off the street over some bushes and suddenly they were turning and falling and crashing all at once. The car finally came to rest upside down on another street.

Shaking uncontrollably, Ryan opened his eyes.

_You're okay, you're__ alive! _He told himself, trying to stop himself from panicking.

He turned to look at Marissa and his stomach gave a furious jolt. For the fourth time that night, pure rage and fear surged through him.

She had a deadly looking wound on her head and she was covered in blood, but she seemed to be breathing, so without further thinking, he climbed out of the smashed car and pulled her after him.

He picked her up and moved away from the car as fast as he could.

That turned out to be the right decision, as behind them the car caught fire and exploded. Had they stayed in the car a few seconds longer, they wouldn't have made it, he realized, his heart pumping wildly.

When he reached the side of the street, he fell to his knees and carefully adjusted her position.

"Marissa! Wake up… wake up!" he whispered forcefully, holding her in his arms tightly.

She was still breathing faintly but her eyes were closed and her body was limp. And there was blood everywhere. It was streaming out of the head wound in large quantities, draining both their clothes and building a small puddle on the ground. Only her pale skin set a contrast to the dark crimson everywhere, and even through his watery eyes, he noticed the last color draining from her face, leaving it white as stone.

"No! NO! Marissa! _Marissa_! MARISSA" he cried, tears streaming down his face. "No! NO! PLEASE! Oh God, NO!"

He had saved her three times this night, he couldn't fail now. Not after everything that had happened.

And then she stopped breathing. She stopped breathing and the world ended. Her heart stopped beating and his tore apart. Silence. And then there was only screaming, screaming out all of his pain and rage, screaming louder than ever, never stopping.

Ryan shot up and snapped his eyes open, still screaming loudly. He was drenched in sweat, tears were streaming down his face and he was completely breathless.

He looked around wildly and when he finally recognized his pool house, relief surged through him and he fell back onto his wet sheets, his heart still racing.

_It was a dream, just another dream…She's not dead…She's…_

His body tensed up as the memory of what really had happened that night returned.

They had been on their way to the airport, when Volchok had driven against their car and pushed it off the street. It had overturned and crashed onto another street and he had pulled Marissa out of the car, which had exploded shortly after. He had gotten that right in his dream.

She did have a serious wound on her head but he had pulled off his shirt and pressed it onto the wound, to stop the blood flow. And then he had called 911 on his cell, which had miraculously survived the crash. Although he hadn't been able to tell them where they were exactly, the ambulance got there in time and brought her into the hospital, where she was now.

This was three days ago. He had wanted to stay, but after two sleepless days and nights, the doctors had told him to go home and rest, and so Sandy had dragged him here.

Since then he had tried to sleep countless times, but he was haunted by nightmares constantly. This one had been the worst by far, though.

_It was just a dream… a stupid dream…__ She is going to get through… she's gonna be okay… _

_I know it!_

And with these thoughts he stumbled out of bed and into the shower. He turned on the water and the freezing drops immediately pulled him back into reality and drove away the last remnants of his dream.

They would be back soon enough, anyway.


End file.
